( Kel's so close. Everything about him is warm and comforting. The more time they spend with one another, the more that Basil doesn't want to let that go. He wants to protect that part of him more than anything else. Basil's spent so much time alone, withdrawing from everyone out of fear. He knew at that moment that Aubrey confessed to feeling alone that he should have been there for everyone.
But, you can't... change the past. No matter how many times Basil wishes it were so. He wants to make up for that time now.
He wants to believe that things will be alright. He knows that it won't be that simple, especially given the fight between himself and Sunny. He really is the worst, isn't he? He should have never done anything to hurt Sunny. He had so much hope when Sunny came back. Why why why would he do something to endanger that?
He has to ask Sunny. He has to. )
… If it comes true, m-maybe... Maybe things can be different. If he has the power to change things.
( Perhaps that fateful night will change, and Mari will be alive if they can go back. Everything fell apart after that day. Even thinking about it feels impossible. It's nothing he wants to entertain – not again. He's played the scenarios in his head so many times of what things would be like if he had arrived at Sunny's house just a minute sooner. ) I...
( He feels his voice break, and he feels how his fingers ball into fists over Kel's clothing. )
Y... You always.... know what to say to make everything feel okay. I promise that I'll be there too.... As long as I can. I want to do what you've done for me for you.
( He freezes when he mentions Aubrey, heart sinking at the thought. )
… Yeah-- uhm... Maybe. ( He... promised Kel that he'd try to be honest, didn't he? He hesitates, biting his lower lip. ) I... I don't know, Kel. I... think that Aubrey h-hates me. ( But, it's something Basil feels for himself, too. ) But, I've never blamed her for it.
( How could he not think that? After that day when they were supposed to study, all he wanted to do was avoid her. He couldn't muster the strength to say anything. He was so scared. All he had wanted to do was run away. And then, she'd found those photos... Something had tried to erase those memories that they shared – those precious memories that would be a keepsake of the time they spent with Mari. )
I-It's okay if she does.
( He doesn't think that it's possible for anyone else except for himself and Sunny to tackle the problems that they're having. But, he appreciates it. He knows that Kel will find a way to protect Sunny in any way that he can.
He freezes at his question. He hasn't sat down next to Kel yet. Marigold has stood, waiting for Basil to sit back down, but he isn't thinking about it. )
N-No. But – it's... always there. Whenever something bad happens, that's the reason for it. I-- ( He tenses up again, fingers balling into fists around his clothing, Basil looking downward. ) I... I was so happy when Sunny came back. But... it's-- it's the reason why he's leaving. It's trying to take him away again. I... I can't let it. Sunny wouldn't leave me on his own, after all this time! He's not like that, Kel!
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But, you can't... change the past. No matter how many times Basil wishes it were so. He wants to make up for that time now.
He wants to believe that things will be alright. He knows that it won't be that simple, especially given the fight between himself and Sunny. He really is the worst, isn't he? He should have never done anything to hurt Sunny. He had so much hope when Sunny came back. Why why why would he do something to endanger that?
He has to ask Sunny. He has to. )
… If it comes true, m-maybe... Maybe things can be different. If he has the power to change things.
( Perhaps that fateful night will change, and Mari will be alive if they can go back. Everything fell apart after that day. Even thinking about it feels impossible. It's nothing he wants to entertain – not again. He's played the scenarios in his head so many times of what things would be like if he had arrived at Sunny's house just a minute sooner. ) I...
( He feels his voice break, and he feels how his fingers ball into fists over Kel's clothing. )
Y... You always.... know what to say to make everything feel okay. I promise that I'll be there too.... As long as I can. I want to do what you've done for me for you.
( He freezes when he mentions Aubrey, heart sinking at the thought. )
… Yeah-- uhm... Maybe. ( He... promised Kel that he'd try to be honest, didn't he? He hesitates, biting his lower lip. ) I... I don't know, Kel. I... think that Aubrey h-hates me. ( But, it's something Basil feels for himself, too. ) But, I've never blamed her for it.
( How could he not think that? After that day when they were supposed to study, all he wanted to do was avoid her. He couldn't muster the strength to say anything. He was so scared. All he had wanted to do was run away. And then, she'd found those photos... Something had tried to erase those memories that they shared – those precious memories that would be a keepsake of the time they spent with Mari. )
I-It's okay if she does.
( He doesn't think that it's possible for anyone else except for himself and Sunny to tackle the problems that they're having. But, he appreciates it. He knows that Kel will find a way to protect Sunny in any way that he can.
He freezes at his question. He hasn't sat down next to Kel yet. Marigold has stood, waiting for Basil to sit back down, but he isn't thinking about it. )
N-No. But – it's... always there. Whenever something bad happens, that's the reason for it. I-- ( He tenses up again, fingers balling into fists around his clothing, Basil looking downward. ) I... I was so happy when Sunny came back. But... it's-- it's the reason why he's leaving. It's trying to take him away again. I... I can't let it. Sunny wouldn't leave me on his own, after all this time! He's not like that, Kel!