( If only Basil knew the depth of how much animosity was between the three of them. It isn't something he has the courage or feels like he has the right to interfere with. The only thing he wants is for their to be peace and friendship between all of them. It's a dream, albeit it might be impossible at this point. He knows that.
His expression softens at what Kel says next. It always feels like Kel's trying so hard for everyone elses sake. The entire time Basil has been here, he's gone out of his way to make him feel comfortable – reassuring him that it's what he wants. )
I--hope you don't forget that you deserve happiness, too. ( Basil starts quietly. ) But, it's-- okay if you forget. I'll be there with you to remind you, and... to help you find happiness, too.
( It's a quiet promise that he wants to keep. Even if Kel insists that he's alright otherwise. The both of them may not have been so close beforehand, but that's changed here. Kel's someone that Basil leans on, and in turn he wants to do everything he can for him. It might not be much, but the notion is there and it won't go away any time soon.
But, when Aubrey's brought up – Basil finds it hard to breath. ) N... No, you're--
( Wrong, he's wrong. )
I-I'm the worst. ( His breath catches in his throat again, and he feels his heart sinking. It's hard to stand, and he feels himself sink to the ground. ) I-It's okay if... Aubrey thinks that... Because it's true. ( If it wasn't for him, things could have been different. He knows he's done something terrible. Maybe things could have worked out for the better in some way if he had handled everything in another way. ) I-It'd be better if I had-- just disappeared... before everything changed. Everyone could have found happiness then.
( Quickly, he uses his arms to wipe his tears away. He'd been thinking this for so long. It's what he wanted to do at home. The thought of dying scares him, but the thought of his loved ones suffering any further – it scares him even more.
His focus is no longer on anything else Kel has to say, it's not reaching him at this point. Basil wants nothing more than to just shut himself away – to find a place where he can sort all of this out alone. That's what he's used to at this point. That's how he's wanted to handle it – without worrying anyone else with how he feels. )
BIG SUICIDE CW
His expression softens at what Kel says next. It always feels like Kel's trying so hard for everyone elses sake. The entire time Basil has been here, he's gone out of his way to make him feel comfortable – reassuring him that it's what he wants. )
I--hope you don't forget that you deserve happiness, too. ( Basil starts quietly. ) But, it's-- okay if you forget. I'll be there with you to remind you, and... to help you find happiness, too.
( It's a quiet promise that he wants to keep. Even if Kel insists that he's alright otherwise. The both of them may not have been so close beforehand, but that's changed here. Kel's someone that Basil leans on, and in turn he wants to do everything he can for him. It might not be much, but the notion is there and it won't go away any time soon.
But, when Aubrey's brought up – Basil finds it hard to breath. ) N... No, you're--
( Wrong, he's wrong. )
I-I'm the worst. ( His breath catches in his throat again, and he feels his heart sinking. It's hard to stand, and he feels himself sink to the ground. ) I-It's okay if... Aubrey thinks that... Because it's true. ( If it wasn't for him, things could have been different. He knows he's done something terrible. Maybe things could have worked out for the better in some way if he had handled everything in another way. ) I-It'd be better if I had-- just disappeared... before everything changed. Everyone could have found happiness then.
( Quickly, he uses his arms to wipe his tears away. He'd been thinking this for so long. It's what he wanted to do at home. The thought of dying scares him, but the thought of his loved ones suffering any further – it scares him even more.
His focus is no longer on anything else Kel has to say, it's not reaching him at this point. Basil wants nothing more than to just shut himself away – to find a place where he can sort all of this out alone. That's what he's used to at this point. That's how he's wanted to handle it – without worrying anyone else with how he feels. )