[“Complicated.” An answer. A non-answer. Some semblance of rage churns but never surfaces. Kel didn’t seem to know much more, really.
[It’s not much better, not knowing.]
He… [Aubrey trails off. He cares for him. Deeply. That’s half the problem, isn’t it?
[He’s not a burden.]
You were never a burden, Basil. [That’s what she says.] Not to me.
[Can’t speak for Sunny, though. Not now. Fuck. She wants to cry again.]
But, look— [Aubrey swallows.] Whatever you did to make you feel that way, you have to live with that. And I think… one way or another, this place will make you face it.
[Running away didn’t work for her. Sleeping for years (four years) didn’t work for Sunny.]
Forget whether you’re a burden or not. You’re here.
( "You were never a burden." The words hit harder than he would have anticipated - and he quickly raises a wrist to rub his eyes. He's not one to want to cry in front of others.
He's been facing all of this on his own for so long. It's gotten to be too much for him. That's why at home, he planned to...
He takes in a breath for a moment. Everything will be okay. )
I-I know that when the time comes for that... I can't run away.
( Aubrey's so strong. He thinks that, even now. He always wanted to be a little more like her. Even though her words are firm, there's a sort of kindness to him tht makes his chest constrict and warm all at once. )
... Thank you, Aubrey. Even after everything I said, you were the one who ended up helping me, in the end.
[He rubs his eyes, and for a moment Aubrey thinks he heard it the way she didn’t mean: “You were never a burden,” not then, but maybe…
[He’s not a burden, but that’s what Aubrey’s gotten good at anyway—treating him like one. Ignoring him. Talking down to him. Dragging him into her space and demanding he answer for what no one can—
[He thanks her.
[She stares at him like she doesn’t understand. He keeps talking. She doesn’t understand.
[He should really hate her.]
A-alright.
[Aubrey takes a step back. Another. Back thumps against wall and her breath catches as if she’s startled, and she’s not, and she’s covered her face with a hand before the first tears can escape. She doesn’t like crying in front of people, either; always felt worse at holding back than him.]
[“Later.” Bizarre, how that’s the word that gets her—to stifle it, that is. He’s not offering to stay now, in this heavy and hellish moment, who should be listening to whom be damned. He can listen; just not now.
[It feels like a consolation. A compromise. Aubrey can handle that.
[She wipes her eyes with a fist.]
Sure. Later.
[Back to watching the ground, then. Aubrey reaches for the door, and opens it for him.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[“Complicated.” An answer. A non-answer. Some semblance of rage churns but never surfaces. Kel didn’t seem to know much more, really.
[It’s not much better, not knowing.]
He… [Aubrey trails off. He cares for him. Deeply. That’s half the problem, isn’t it?
[He’s not a burden.]
You were never a burden, Basil. [That’s what she says.] Not to me.
[Can’t speak for Sunny, though. Not now. Fuck. She wants to cry again.]
But, look— [Aubrey swallows.] Whatever you did to make you feel that way, you have to live with that. And I think… one way or another, this place will make you face it.
[Running away didn’t work for her. Sleeping for years (four years) didn’t work for Sunny.]
Forget whether you’re a burden or not. You’re here.
no subject
He's been facing all of this on his own for so long. It's gotten to be too much for him. That's why at home, he planned to...
He takes in a breath for a moment. Everything will be okay. )
I-I know that when the time comes for that... I can't run away.
( Aubrey's so strong. He thinks that, even now. He always wanted to be a little more like her. Even though her words are firm, there's a sort of kindness to him tht makes his chest constrict and warm all at once. )
... Thank you, Aubrey. Even after everything I said, you were the one who ended up helping me, in the end.
no subject
[He rubs his eyes, and for a moment Aubrey thinks he heard it the way she didn’t mean: “You were never a burden,” not then, but maybe…
[He’s not a burden, but that’s what Aubrey’s gotten good at anyway—treating him like one. Ignoring him. Talking down to him. Dragging him into her space and demanding he answer for what no one can—
[He thanks her.
[She stares at him like she doesn’t understand. He keeps talking. She doesn’t understand.
[He should really hate her.]
A-alright.
[Aubrey takes a step back. Another. Back thumps against wall and her breath catches as if she’s startled, and she’s not, and she’s covered her face with a hand before the first tears can escape. She doesn’t like crying in front of people, either; always felt worse at holding back than him.]
You can… [Whispering, ragged.] …y-you can go now.
[He always could.]
no subject
It doesn't feel right, just leaving her when she's still upset. He bites his lower lip, frozen in place for a moment. )
I--
... I... If you need to talk-- later, Aubrey. I.... I can listen.
( He can at least do that much. )
no subject
[“Later.” Bizarre, how that’s the word that gets her—to stifle it, that is. He’s not offering to stay now, in this heavy and hellish moment, who should be listening to whom be damned. He can listen; just not now.
[It feels like a consolation. A compromise. Aubrey can handle that.
[She wipes her eyes with a fist.]
Sure. Later.
[Back to watching the ground, then. Aubrey reaches for the door, and opens it for him.]