( The fingers in his hair is comforting, and Basil can feel himself curling up against her -- as if on instinct, as if his body is releasing years of tension. He can't bring himself to look at BB, if only because he doesn't want to see Mari's face -- but, he imagines that Mari would have comforted Basil in a similar manner. )
E... Everyone loved Mari. And, she loved everyone. I... I trust that she would... forgive both Sunny and I. Or -- I want to. ( Basil starts. That's what hurts the most. ) After everything happened... e-everyone stopped being friends. Sunny left. I know that he needs to start over, but... I don't want to be alone again... Even here, my wish was for Sunny to stay.
( The guilt feels like too much. It feels like he's drowning. )
I-I'm the worst. ( He swallows. For a moment, he stays silent, drawing in a shaking breath. ) It's... why I just wanted it to stop. Everything fell apart-- b-because of me. It would've been better if I just-- d-disappeared.
But, Kel... He accepted me, even knowing everything. E-Even after knowing what I did... he still wants to be with me.
( He still doesn't understand. He doesn't feel like he deserves it. He feels like a monster -- if not for him, everything would be fine. Wouldn't it have been better if he had accomplished what he had set out to do the day he had fallen into the lake? )
[ As she listens, BB hears his wishes, holds them to her existence, and keeps the meaning of them gripped by all senses.
These are wishes from a human who has made vocal their desire. And she is an AI made to care for humans and attend to their needs.
What Basil wants, is also aligned with what BB wishes to give. A place here, for everyone, a place where these versions of them come to exist. Grow, form, shape - the suffering of their existences deserving of life here, but far more practical than the one they have been given by Vaeros.
She wants to give it to them, keep them there - albeit selfishly, perhaps, but BB wants this to be a place where even her Senpais can come to live. A place from their Dying worlds with no future in it - by her calculated sum. ]
Whatever selfishness you claim, [ She begins to say, gently. Continuing to rub her hands along his shoulders and down his arms. It is an offering of friendship, and she keeps him still letting him know again, she is there for him. ] is yours to have and whatever future you want to make is yours to try. However, if all you do is let yourself be consumed by that suffering, then it is pointless if you do nothing with that grief.
Be Good To Yourself, You Are Only Human. Prone to mistakes, and needing to move beyond them. Young, at most, surrounded by a new world, now, unlike what you know. Be here now, Basil, in a place like this - with so many possibilities at your fingertips.
If it falls apart, remake it again.
If you cannot, then make something else of yourself, or the world around you.
There is no such thing as deserving to disappear, only, deserving to live - as is your right as a human.
[ This is her job, they need to live. ]
So you must live.
[ They need to want to live. ]
BB is sure, Mari-san, would want you to live.
[ A pause as she shifts him so that her eyes cast downwards, and she can shift his face to look up at her. Eyes meeting, with a fierce intensity - intending for it to look like Mari saying it but her as well. ]
( Everything she says touches him to his core. For a long time, he's felt like he's been drowning in his grief. He's felt as though no matter how much he tried to be strong, things were ultimately taking a nosedive for the last four year. From the way he was bullied, to the fact that his friends group seemed to separate, and then... finally, the way that his grandmother wasn't doing well.
But here, it feels like he has a second chance. He's made so many friends here, so many people here seem to care for him. Many times, it feels like it's more than what he deserves. At the same time, he wants to hold onto even the slightest possibility for happiness.
When he had arrived here, the hope that Sunny and Basil could rekindle their friendship was alive for a little while - up until recently. They've been avoiding one another since Kel had revealed that the both of them hurt one another. It's the last thing he wanted. Basil, who wouldn't hurt even a spider in his garden bringing harm to someone who was so precious to him.
Does he deserve to live? He doesn't know. No matter how many times that people say that to him, it's ultimately something he has to decide for himself. But still, the words touch him deeply, his heart constricting at the thought of it. It hurts, it hurts because he had been waiting so long to hear those words. Quickly, he reaches to wipe tears that were threatening to fall. )
Mar-- Mari... ( When BB does that, it does indeed feel like he's been forgiven. It feels like she's indeed encouraging him to keep going. And he feels his throat constrict, quickly burying his face into the others shoulder to hide the tears that he could no longer stop.
His voice is muffled against her clothing as she shakes against her, relief and tension all spilling from him at the same time. )
BB.... BB, p-please - please stay. I... I don't want to be alone again....
[ Her statement is gentle, hanging in the air with a sultry taste to it. At the essence of this moment, it was about control from her perspective. At her basis, she is an entity instructed to care for humanity and ensure not only their survival but livelihood. To affirm this through action and achieve success in the moment, BB was visceral in her emotions and validated this sense of importance. She is but an AI whose task was completed, in the moment.
The girl, settled back into her legs allowing for them to move slightly. Motioning herself so he can lean against her much more easily. Settle into the moment, and let the tremors of his feelings leave from his body. To help ensure this was the case, BB continued to rub her hands along his arms. His head, plays with locks of his hair, and after am moment in silence. Begins to hum gently to him.
She will then stay there, as long as he needs her to.
This was one of her humans, and only she can take care of him properly. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
suicide cw
E... Everyone loved Mari. And, she loved everyone. I... I trust that she would... forgive both Sunny and I. Or -- I want to. ( Basil starts. That's what hurts the most. ) After everything happened... e-everyone stopped being friends. Sunny left. I know that he needs to start over, but... I don't want to be alone again... Even here, my wish was for Sunny to stay.
( The guilt feels like too much. It feels like he's drowning. )
I-I'm the worst. ( He swallows. For a moment, he stays silent, drawing in a shaking breath. ) It's... why I just wanted it to stop. Everything fell apart-- b-because of me. It would've been better if I just-- d-disappeared.
But, Kel... He accepted me, even knowing everything. E-Even after knowing what I did... he still wants to be with me.
( He still doesn't understand. He doesn't feel like he deserves it. He feels like a monster -- if not for him, everything would be fine. Wouldn't it have been better if he had accomplished what he had set out to do the day he had fallen into the lake? )
no subject
And she is an AI made to care for humans and attend to their needs.
What Basil wants, is also aligned with what BB wishes to give. A place here, for everyone, a place where these versions of them come to exist. Grow, form, shape - the suffering of their existences deserving of life here, but far more practical than the one they have been given by Vaeros.
She wants to give it to them, keep them there - albeit selfishly, perhaps, but BB wants this to be a place where even her Senpais can come to live. A place from their Dying worlds with no future in it - by her calculated sum. ]
Whatever selfishness you claim, [ She begins to say, gently. Continuing to rub her hands along his shoulders and down his arms. It is an offering of friendship, and she keeps him still letting him know again, she is there for him. ] is yours to have and whatever future you want to make is yours to try. However, if all you do is let yourself be consumed by that suffering, then it is pointless if you do nothing with that grief.
Be Good To Yourself, You Are Only Human. Prone to mistakes, and needing to move beyond them. Young, at most, surrounded by a new world, now, unlike what you know. Be here now, Basil, in a place like this - with so many possibilities at your fingertips.
If it falls apart, remake it again.
If you cannot, then make something else of yourself, or the world around you.
There is no such thing as deserving to disappear, only, deserving to live - as is your right as a human.
[ This is her job, they need to live. ]
So you must live.
[ They need to want to live. ]
BB is sure, Mari-san, would want you to live.
[ A pause as she shifts him so that her eyes cast downwards, and she can shift his face to look up at her. Eyes meeting, with a fierce intensity - intending for it to look like Mari saying it but her as well. ]
I want you to live.
no subject
But here, it feels like he has a second chance. He's made so many friends here, so many people here seem to care for him. Many times, it feels like it's more than what he deserves. At the same time, he wants to hold onto even the slightest possibility for happiness.
When he had arrived here, the hope that Sunny and Basil could rekindle their friendship was alive for a little while - up until recently. They've been avoiding one another since Kel had revealed that the both of them hurt one another. It's the last thing he wanted. Basil, who wouldn't hurt even a spider in his garden bringing harm to someone who was so precious to him.
Does he deserve to live? He doesn't know. No matter how many times that people say that to him, it's ultimately something he has to decide for himself. But still, the words touch him deeply, his heart constricting at the thought of it. It hurts, it hurts because he had been waiting so long to hear those words. Quickly, he reaches to wipe tears that were threatening to fall. )
Mar-- Mari... ( When BB does that, it does indeed feel like he's been forgiven. It feels like she's indeed encouraging him to keep going. And he feels his throat constrict, quickly burying his face into the others shoulder to hide the tears that he could no longer stop.
His voice is muffled against her clothing as she shakes against her, relief and tension all spilling from him at the same time. )
BB.... BB, p-please - please stay. I... I don't want to be alone again....
we can wrap here if you want?
[ Her statement is gentle, hanging in the air with a sultry taste to it. At the essence of this moment, it was about control from her perspective. At her basis, she is an entity instructed to care for humanity and ensure not only their survival but livelihood. To affirm this through action and achieve success in the moment, BB was visceral in her emotions and validated this sense of importance. She is but an AI whose task was completed, in the moment.
The girl, settled back into her legs allowing for them to move slightly. Motioning herself so he can lean against her much more easily. Settle into the moment, and let the tremors of his feelings leave from his body. To help ensure this was the case, BB continued to rub her hands along his arms. His head, plays with locks of his hair, and after am moment in silence. Begins to hum gently to him.
She will then stay there, as long as he needs her to.
This was one of her humans, and only she can take care of him properly. ]