[Was it now? He does notice the small stutter at least, making mental note to eventually ask if he did something wrong. He- ah, screw it.
Communication was one of the things they were lacking the most, between all of them.]
You don't sound convinced. So I'm just... Basil. Listen, I don't remember last night at all, various dismemberment themed nightmares aside, so... please. We're friends. If I ever do anything wrong, let me know. Okay?
I can't change for the better if you... don't tell me what's wrong. Just a thought for the future,mh?
[A smile, there, before shaking his head. He's so sore and his whole body wants to forget it exists but...]
Hey- not your fault, okay? I made the mess to begin with. And I'm sure your plants will be happy. All of them.
( He hesitates, going silent at his next words. Was it unfair not to bring it up...? It's hard to say. )
You haven't done anything wrong... Nothing that happened last night was your fault.
( It would hurt Kel to bring up the fact that he had thought of Hero so much. It would also hurt him for him to know about the kiss that was done by complete accident. His gaze lowers at the thought, fidgeting a little before looking back to Kel for a moment. )
You just wanted to stay awake. I'm... glad that you're okay now. W-We shouldn't explore the labyrinth again.
[He sees the hestitation, the doubts. As he told Aubrey, he pays insane attention to Basil's body language, lately. Something happened. Something that may be bad. ]
Nothing that happened was my fault... okay. But that implies that something did happen. Basil- [A small sigh.] Please, please know you can talk to me, okay? I know there still are things we need to talk about- [He was almost completely sure he did not share the truth, Basil wouldn't be so calm otherwise.] and we will get there, eventually, but in the meanwhile... please, let's try to be honest with each other.
I... I'm sorry for whatever I did, though. I truly am.
[But no focus on that as he starts cleaning instead. The pizza bites will cook, the rest will be tossed outside, he'll focus on washing the dishes once they're done with breakfast.
Not exploring again, huh?]
I will not take you there again, promise. Last time all I got was a big, fun nap, nothing liek this. I'm sorry this ended up happening...
( Basil hesitates once more, falling silent. When Kel puts it like that, Basil can't help but think that he's bound to worry all the more if Basil didn't say what happened. )
You... You thought that I was Hero. ( And that's what he was hesitating most to bring up. ) ... You were really affectionate, but... I-- don't think it was meant for me.
( Which... it's fine. Kel and Hero were really close, weren't they? )
I wonder why it was different when I came with you...
( Was it Basil's fault? Was it becau8se he was there with Kel? Maybe it would help if he didn't go with him, but Basil doesn't want him to have to go alone, either. )
[Oh. Oh.... of course, that makes sense. Kel presses one hand over his face, hiding it for a moment. Of course he had to- only Aubrey got a general idea of how much Kel missed Hero and even her only got snippets from random commentary mostly tied to Sunny and Basil anyway.]
I'm... sorry. [He wants to run away from the topic, but he did ask Basil to be honest. And the other was so it's only fair to... honesty and communication before anyhing else, since it was something they lacked back then. At least he couuld talk of this since it only involved him and Hero, right?] I miss him. I miss him a lot. It's... he's not been actually fine since.... you know. [The teen crossed his arms, glancing to the side.] So I tend to worry. I... the reason I didn't visit you or Aubrey after... he shut down. Like Sunny did. And my parents kept trying to... pray it away. I guess I turned into the protective brother, there? so... yeah, I guess- I tend to be affectionate with him. More than wrestling like we used to. I'm... really sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't realize you didn't want to be touched or-
[He's jumping to conlusions, there, like an idiot, but he can try not to be touchy. Really. It's instinctive of him to seek contact but he can control himself. There are also no mentions of how he felt or anything, but when he tried to open himself with Sunny- well, that talk in front of mari's grave only got him a blank stare in return...]
Really, I'm so sorry. BUt... Basil? As much as I miss him, I am also oh so happy to be by your side right now, okay? If that makes sense...
[A pause.]
Oh. I heard there's just... it's kind of random what you find. We were just unlucky. Which was probably my fault? I consumed my luck last time.
( Basil watches him for a moment, watching the way that Kel hides his expression. Listening to his words is enough to make his heart sink before his stomach flips. He feels nauseous, and his instinct is telling him to go hide. All of their friends suffered in different ways and all he could do all this time is watch... But, knowing the hardship that Hero went through because of it reopens old wounds. Fingers join together in front of him, squeezing, digging. He attempts to breath.
Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay-- )
... Anyone would be lucky to have you by their side, Kel.
( Basil doesn't deserve it. )
I... I'm sure that it was because of your support that Hero could start to get better.
But -- ( It's so hard to breathe right now, he attempts to take in a breath again. ) ... It's.... It's okay. Sunny and I used to be close like that, too. I-It helped him when he got scared or nervous-- but... I don't hate being touched.
( It's the opposite. But, he doesn't know how he'll respond if Kel reaches for him now.
It's not Kel's fault for what happened in the labyrinth. If anything, it's Basil's fault. This place knows about his deepest desires, too? They know what kind of person he is. But, Kel... Kel deserved to find all the happiness he could find. )
[Ah, fuck. he could read Basil's body reactions and they were far from reassuring... bringing up Hero and his trauma had not been a good idea. But at least he had been... honest? They were working on honesty there, right? Even when it hurt...
He leaves his oven mitts on the table, kneeling inn front of the other and offering both hands in his direction, for Basil to lean his own upon. There was no digging in skin and such on his watch.]
I am lucky to have friends like you, too. And, for what it's worth, I am by your side now. I guess that makes both of us pretty lucky, huh?
[A smile. No, this wasn't enough. He had to bring up the good things too]
. . .
[He doesn't touch, he doesn't move, he allows the other to choose how far they'll go in terms of contact. If basil isn't against it, that's actually... well, a relief.]
And... I know I told you about the bad things a moment ago, but Hero got better. So much better. You know he attends parties at college? Him of all people, hah! They have alcohol in those parties, Basil. Can you imagine him drinking? I can't!
[Kel tasted wine while cooking. He tasted beer while making tempura batter. He found them both awful. it didn't help they were lukewarm at best.]
Basil. I can see you're a bit overwhelmed now. Do you want to breathe with me? Come on. Let's try.... take a deep deep breath with me....
( Kel reaches for him, and Basil hesitates. He doesn't reach for him right away. He's still in the habit of attempting to calm himself, first and foremost. It's something he knows that his friend wants him to try to break. They made a promise, didn't they? Basil would try to rely on others...
But then, he brings up that Hero's gotten better and Basil feels himself relax more. That's... Maybe he hasn't healed completely. He doesn't think any of them have. The light joke is enough to make him smile -- though, it doesn't seem to reach his eyes.
But, it's enough to push him to take those hands into his.
He doesn't think he'll ever not feel the way the did when it came to Mari. Not while he's keeping everything a secret. Kel makes him want to try, but that much feels... selfish... It's a vicious circle.
Still, he attempts to take in a breath. )
... I-- just want everyone to find some happiness again. Y-You make me want to believe that... it's possible.
[Good, follow him in this. At least it seem there will be no need for further tricks like HEro's 'name me five items in the room, five sounds and five smells', all exciting stuff for dealing with Anxiety. It was because he told the other Hero suffered, right? Who even knew how guilty Basil felt for hiding so much for so long, especially knowing what- focus, Kel. Focus.
He smiles up in the other's direction. Okay, kneeling down had been a terrible idea, even if it was the easier way to be in line of sight of the other. His legs are... too stiff not to get stuck. Oh, god, everything hurts.]
That's it, you're doing amazing, Basil.
[Better hold Kel's hands and breathe than slip into a panic attack, right? RIGHT?]
And, yes, we will get there. I was talking about it with Aubrey the other day. Even if we were, big surprise, yelling at each other. We will all be happy in the end, even if happiness is very personal to each person. We will all find that one thing that makes us smile. Even if Happily ever after are not a thing, I'm certain we can get to a spot where the good outweights the bad.
[A big grin from down there. Oh, dear, he's so going to struggle getting up.]
Let's work hard together until we get there, mh? And don't worry, I got your back in this- after all, we want everyone to be happy, right? This includes you too.
( Kel's here. Even after seeing some of the extent of just how awful he is, he's still there with him. He's still reassuring him, gently pushing him to try to get better. And more than that, he promised he wouldn't leave. He promised he'd always try to be honest with him.
And... Kel wouldn't leave him again. Basil knows he never would. He wants to trust in that.
His fingers intertwine in Kel's at that thought, focusing on breathing, focusing on his voice. It's warm. All of Kel is warm. )
... O-Okay. ( Basil still thinks that happiness might be impossible for him, but Kel doesn't need to know. He just... wants that for the others. ) Even if the both of you fight... I-I know that Aubrey wants that for you, too. I'll... I'll try harder for you too, Kel.
( He pauses then, his eyes finally meeting with Kel's before they look away. He's more calm now. Now that the focus is away from that and on something lighter, it's easier to calm down. )
... Uhm. There's... something else. I... don't think it'd be fair to keep to myself.
[There's no way in hell Kel is leaving, not at this point. He really saw the worst of the worst from both Sunny and Basil, yet he still loves them dearly. And he will try as hard as needed to be by Basil's side, at least... with Sunny things are just too complicated. But how couldn't they be? He cannot look at him without feeling the other's body against his own, without remembering how hopelessly he pressed a certain wound against his chest in the clumsy attempt to stop the bleeding... and how he had to rely on everyone else for Sunny to survive.
Basil would at least understand what it means having some specific memories haunting you, right?
But it's not the right time to address that. He smiles up at the other and offers a confident expression while doing his best to keep his balance. Oh, man, the pizza puffs are going to burn if he can't move from there.]
Well, You know how it works with friends, right? Your happiness is my happiness... so in my case, just help me make you happy and it'll be a work well done.
[Isn't that what his wish is all about anyway? But there is something else and that... worries him. Okay, time to see what else happened, can't be worse than hero- but before that...]
It's okay, we can handle whatever, right? Just... huh... can you help me up? I think I'm kind of stuck. Hah... my body isn't really agreeing with all the lactic acid in my muscles... [yeah, pretty embarrassing.] but after I'm ack on my feet, I'm all yours.
( It feels like he's haunted by the memory of the last day he had entered Sunny's home almost every single day. He may not know the extent of how much the event had hurt Kel, or how much he had hurt Sunny, but... nonetheless, he would understand exactly how Kel feels. After all, Something was still following him and Sunny both even to this day. Perhaps now knowing was for the best, considering how close he's become to Kel. He feels as though they're closer than they've ever been. And, with how dysfunctional his relationship is with Sunny...
Some things are better kept a secret.
Basil's happiness is his happiness. It's a selfless thought, and perhaps where Basil and Kel may clash -- or, meet half way. After all, Basil felt the same way when it came to the happiness of his friends. Basil was always fine with whatever happened to him, as long as it meant that his friends were happy. )
... I'll try, but... I want to work hard to make you happy, too. I-I guess we're kind of stuck in that way, huh...?
( Still, he'll offer a hand for Kel to take, never mind how his face flushes a little at his last words, his heart racing a little. He looks away once more, focusing on his friend, rather than... any out of the ordinary reactions.
His grip tightens a little, and he helps to pull him upwards. )
After this, can you promise me something...? Y-You should really rest, Kel...
[It certainly sucks how much everyone got hurt, huh? But Kel is okay, everyone must think he's fine, he'll be fine eventually- he's probably the better practiced teen when it comes to repressing his own feelings in that sense. Sunny is fine, either here where he still has his eye or back in his world where he finally woke up...]
That's a good position to be stuck into, though, isn't it? Heh... buddies trying to make each other happy is not the worst kind of deal I can think of.
[It was certainly worst being stuck with one knee on the floor. He has to hold onto Basil to push himself up and it's not without a groan of discomfort that he finally gets back onto his feet. Oh, boy...]
I did agree to a breakfast in bed, didn't I? I promise I'll take things slow for a bit, really. Now... let's handle what's left, mh? After that we can, I don't know, maybe read a book together in bed?
( Trying to make one another happy... it sounds nice. His heart feels a little lighter at the thought of it, and he offers a smile then -- genuine and a bit gentle. )
... Yeah. I... I think so, too.
( Though, he frowns a little at the sound of discomfort, hesitating to release his grip before finally deciding to do so, going back to preparing the tea now that he's helped Kel up. )
That sounds... really nice. I have a few books, but I'm not sure if they'd be good to read together. What kind of books do you like...?
( Comic books, sure. But, there had to be something else. )
[It's the base of every bond, isn't it? Wanting the people you care about to find happiness? And that smile definitely makes Kel feel... things. Positive things. He doesn't really ask himself much more than what he's currently thinking about before forcing his poor, tired arm forward in the attempt to ruffle the other's hair, careful to pay attention to the other's body language and step back should he see any discomfort.]
Sounds like a deal, then...
[He picks up his mittens once more, looking inside the oven just to see the mini pizza muffins be ready- those really take little to go, huh? He opens the glass door, letting some heat flow out before grabbing the metal sheet and placing it carefully on the table to let it set.
What does he like to read, huh? Spaceboy comics? Spaceboy and Rococo fanfictions? Those are the good things but he can pepper the answer with a bit of extra friendliness.]
Well, I'd like to see what kind of things you like. You know, beside gardening and such... why don't you show me your favorite book of the ones you have? I will gladly read it with you- even if I apologize in advance because I will probably fall asleep at some point.
( It's true, that was at the base of each bond people had. But, the more time Basil spent with Kel, the more he wanted his happiness far more than his own. He'd do anything to make sure that that smile never faltered.
He reaches for his head and Basil closes his eyes, his heart jumping at the touch. Strange... Did he always feel that way when it came to Kel being affectionate...? It's difficult to remember...
His eyes dart away, gently pushing his head upwards towards the touch with the blush from before only darkening. )
A-Ah, well... There were things I really liked in the past, but... now I mostly read anything that might sound interesting, most nonfiction. If there's something that you like though, I'd be happy to read it with you, too...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Communication was one of the things they were lacking the most, between all of them.]
You don't sound convinced. So I'm just... Basil. Listen, I don't remember last night at all, various dismemberment themed nightmares aside, so... please. We're friends. If I ever do anything wrong, let me know. Okay?
I can't change for the better if you... don't tell me what's wrong. Just a thought for the future,mh?
[A smile, there, before shaking his head. He's so sore and his whole body wants to forget it exists but...]
Hey- not your fault, okay? I made the mess to begin with. And I'm sure your plants will be happy. All of them.
no subject
You haven't done anything wrong... Nothing that happened last night was your fault.
( It would hurt Kel to bring up the fact that he had thought of Hero so much. It would also hurt him for him to know about the kiss that was done by complete accident. His gaze lowers at the thought, fidgeting a little before looking back to Kel for a moment. )
You just wanted to stay awake. I'm... glad that you're okay now. W-We shouldn't explore the labyrinth again.
no subject
Nothing that happened was my fault... okay. But that implies that something did happen. Basil- [A small sigh.] Please, please know you can talk to me, okay? I know there still are things we need to talk about- [He was almost completely sure he did not share the truth, Basil wouldn't be so calm otherwise.] and we will get there, eventually, but in the meanwhile... please, let's try to be honest with each other.
I... I'm sorry for whatever I did, though. I truly am.
[But no focus on that as he starts cleaning instead. The pizza bites will cook, the rest will be tossed outside, he'll focus on washing the dishes once they're done with breakfast.
Not exploring again, huh?]
I will not take you there again, promise. Last time all I got was a big, fun nap, nothing liek this. I'm sorry this ended up happening...
no subject
You... You thought that I was Hero. ( And that's what he was hesitating most to bring up. ) ... You were really affectionate, but... I-- don't think it was meant for me.
( Which... it's fine. Kel and Hero were really close, weren't they? )
I wonder why it was different when I came with you...
( Was it Basil's fault? Was it becau8se he was there with Kel? Maybe it would help if he didn't go with him, but Basil doesn't want him to have to go alone, either. )
no subject
I'm... sorry. [He wants to run away from the topic, but he did ask Basil to be honest. And the other was so it's only fair to... honesty and communication before anyhing else, since it was something they lacked back then. At least he couuld talk of this since it only involved him and Hero, right?] I miss him. I miss him a lot. It's... he's not been actually fine since.... you know. [The teen crossed his arms, glancing to the side.] So I tend to worry. I... the reason I didn't visit you or Aubrey after... he shut down. Like Sunny did. And my parents kept trying to... pray it away. I guess I turned into the protective brother, there? so... yeah, I guess- I tend to be affectionate with him. More than wrestling like we used to. I'm... really sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't realize you didn't want to be touched or-
[He's jumping to conlusions, there, like an idiot, but he can try not to be touchy. Really. It's instinctive of him to seek contact but he can control himself. There are also no mentions of how he felt or anything, but when he tried to open himself with Sunny- well, that talk in front of mari's grave only got him a blank stare in return...]
Really, I'm so sorry. BUt... Basil? As much as I miss him, I am also oh so happy to be by your side right now, okay? If that makes sense...
[A pause.]
Oh. I heard there's just... it's kind of random what you find. We were just unlucky. Which was probably my fault? I consumed my luck last time.
no subject
Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay-- )
... Anyone would be lucky to have you by their side, Kel.
( Basil doesn't deserve it. )
I... I'm sure that it was because of your support that Hero could start to get better.
But -- ( It's so hard to breathe right now, he attempts to take in a breath again. ) ... It's.... It's okay. Sunny and I used to be close like that, too. I-It helped him when he got scared or nervous-- but... I don't hate being touched.
( It's the opposite. But, he doesn't know how he'll respond if Kel reaches for him now.
It's not Kel's fault for what happened in the labyrinth. If anything, it's Basil's fault. This place knows about his deepest desires, too? They know what kind of person he is. But, Kel... Kel deserved to find all the happiness he could find. )
no subject
He leaves his oven mitts on the table, kneeling inn front of the other and offering both hands in his direction, for Basil to lean his own upon. There was no digging in skin and such on his watch.]
I am lucky to have friends like you, too. And, for what it's worth, I am by your side now. I guess that makes both of us pretty lucky, huh?
[A smile. No, this wasn't enough. He had to bring up the good things too]
. . .
[He doesn't touch, he doesn't move, he allows the other to choose how far they'll go in terms of contact. If basil isn't against it, that's actually... well, a relief.]
And... I know I told you about the bad things a moment ago, but Hero got better. So much better. You know he attends parties at college? Him of all people, hah! They have alcohol in those parties, Basil. Can you imagine him drinking? I can't!
[Kel tasted wine while cooking. He tasted beer while making tempura batter. He found them both awful. it didn't help they were lukewarm at best.]
Basil. I can see you're a bit overwhelmed now. Do you want to breathe with me? Come on. Let's try.... take a deep deep breath with me....
no subject
But then, he brings up that Hero's gotten better and Basil feels himself relax more. That's... Maybe he hasn't healed completely. He doesn't think any of them have. The light joke is enough to make him smile -- though, it doesn't seem to reach his eyes.
But, it's enough to push him to take those hands into his.
He doesn't think he'll ever not feel the way the did when it came to Mari. Not while he's keeping everything a secret. Kel makes him want to try, but that much feels... selfish... It's a vicious circle.
Still, he attempts to take in a breath. )
... I-- just want everyone to find some happiness again. Y-You make me want to believe that... it's possible.
no subject
He smiles up in the other's direction. Okay, kneeling down had been a terrible idea, even if it was the easier way to be in line of sight of the other. His legs are... too stiff not to get stuck. Oh, god, everything hurts.]
That's it, you're doing amazing, Basil.
[Better hold Kel's hands and breathe than slip into a panic attack, right? RIGHT?]
And, yes, we will get there. I was talking about it with Aubrey the other day. Even if we were, big surprise, yelling at each other. We will all be happy in the end, even if happiness is very personal to each person. We will all find that one thing that makes us smile. Even if Happily ever after are not a thing, I'm certain we can get to a spot where the good outweights the bad.
[A big grin from down there. Oh, dear, he's so going to struggle getting up.]
Let's work hard together until we get there, mh? And don't worry, I got your back in this- after all, we want everyone to be happy, right? This includes you too.
no subject
And... Kel wouldn't leave him again. Basil knows he never would. He wants to trust in that.
His fingers intertwine in Kel's at that thought, focusing on breathing, focusing on his voice. It's warm. All of Kel is warm. )
... O-Okay. ( Basil still thinks that happiness might be impossible for him, but Kel doesn't need to know. He just... wants that for the others. ) Even if the both of you fight... I-I know that Aubrey wants that for you, too. I'll... I'll try harder for you too, Kel.
( He pauses then, his eyes finally meeting with Kel's before they look away. He's more calm now. Now that the focus is away from that and on something lighter, it's easier to calm down. )
... Uhm. There's... something else. I... don't think it'd be fair to keep to myself.
no subject
Basil would at least understand what it means having some specific memories haunting you, right?
But it's not the right time to address that. He smiles up at the other and offers a confident expression while doing his best to keep his balance. Oh, man, the pizza puffs are going to burn if he can't move from there.]
Well, You know how it works with friends, right? Your happiness is my happiness... so in my case, just help me make you happy and it'll be a work well done.
[Isn't that what his wish is all about anyway? But there is something else and that... worries him. Okay, time to see what else happened, can't be worse than hero- but before that...]
It's okay, we can handle whatever, right? Just... huh... can you help me up? I think I'm kind of stuck. Hah... my body isn't really agreeing with all the lactic acid in my muscles... [yeah, pretty embarrassing.] but after I'm ack on my feet, I'm all yours.
no subject
Some things are better kept a secret.
Basil's happiness is his happiness. It's a selfless thought, and perhaps where Basil and Kel may clash -- or, meet half way. After all, Basil felt the same way when it came to the happiness of his friends. Basil was always fine with whatever happened to him, as long as it meant that his friends were happy. )
... I'll try, but... I want to work hard to make you happy, too. I-I guess we're kind of stuck in that way, huh...?
( Still, he'll offer a hand for Kel to take, never mind how his face flushes a little at his last words, his heart racing a little. He looks away once more, focusing on his friend, rather than... any out of the ordinary reactions.
His grip tightens a little, and he helps to pull him upwards. )
After this, can you promise me something...? Y-You should really rest, Kel...
no subject
That's a good position to be stuck into, though, isn't it? Heh... buddies trying to make each other happy is not the worst kind of deal I can think of.
[It was certainly worst being stuck with one knee on the floor. He has to hold onto Basil to push himself up and it's not without a groan of discomfort that he finally gets back onto his feet. Oh, boy...]
I did agree to a breakfast in bed, didn't I? I promise I'll take things slow for a bit, really. Now... let's handle what's left, mh? After that we can, I don't know, maybe read a book together in bed?
[He's so going to pass out in a page or two.]
no subject
... Yeah. I... I think so, too.
( Though, he frowns a little at the sound of discomfort, hesitating to release his grip before finally deciding to do so, going back to preparing the tea now that he's helped Kel up. )
That sounds... really nice. I have a few books, but I'm not sure if they'd be good to read together. What kind of books do you like...?
( Comic books, sure. But, there had to be something else. )
no subject
Sounds like a deal, then...
[He picks up his mittens once more, looking inside the oven just to see the mini pizza muffins be ready- those really take little to go, huh? He opens the glass door, letting some heat flow out before grabbing the metal sheet and placing it carefully on the table to let it set.
What does he like to read, huh? Spaceboy comics? Spaceboy and Rococo fanfictions? Those are the good things but he can pepper the answer with a bit of extra friendliness.]
Well, I'd like to see what kind of things you like. You know, beside gardening and such... why don't you show me your favorite book of the ones you have? I will gladly read it with you- even if I apologize in advance because I will probably fall asleep at some point.
no subject
He reaches for his head and Basil closes his eyes, his heart jumping at the touch. Strange... Did he always feel that way when it came to Kel being affectionate...? It's difficult to remember...
His eyes dart away, gently pushing his head upwards towards the touch with the blush from before only darkening. )
A-Ah, well... There were things I really liked in the past, but... now I mostly read anything that might sound interesting, most nonfiction. If there's something that you like though, I'd be happy to read it with you, too...